Recent attempts.

"horror"
#2 pencil on paper.

"autumn"
acrylic on canvas.

"hippy"
watercolor and acrylic on paper.

Breathe, bleed, sleep.

Daydreaming.

future home

future room.

Today.

I read this.


Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.


Did i mention I've also been reading, and learning plenty about existentialism?
So rad.

Paul knows.

Galatians 4:15-20
New International Version

What has happened to all your joy? I can testify that, if you could have done so, you would have torn out your eyes and given them to me. Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?

Those people are zealous to win you over, but for no good. What they want is to alienate you from us, so that you may be zealous for them. It is fine to be zealous, provided the purpose is good, and to be so always and not just when I am with you. My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you, how I wish I could be with you now and change my tone, because I am perplexed about you!



This passage is also an interesting read in The Message version.

Poison&Wine.

Poison & Wine is a musical snapshot about the dichotomy of love - that while it can be the thing that destroys you, it can also be the very same thing that beckons and builds you. JP and I are both married have been for several years now - and we got to talking one day about what a tug and pull our individual relationships can be. The longer you know someone - and the longer you allow someone to know you - the more the light and shadows inside each person become more vivid. This song was our attempt at being as brutally honest about the dangerous and beautiful process of knowing and being known. (-Joy Williams, The Civil Wars)

To AMY.

Amy Tressa Mathews,
Yours is truly a heart of gold.
You make me laugh. And i love you tremendously.
"That was NOT okay!"
The end.

Good day.

You know you are having a good day when...

• Your 8am class is canceled, and you had a quiz that morning.
  
• Your hair is not frizzy.
• The sun is shining the day you decided to wear a summery dress.
• Denny's is offering free pancakes to everyone and their mother all day. So you and your 5 girl friends pile into a car to take part in the country-wide madness.
• Your pain-killers kick in.
• Scientific Models of Origin class gets out early. I wish.
• Your counseling session turns out to be highly productive in its 3rd week.
  
• Your Mommy calls to see how you are doing.
  
• Your prayer gets answered sooner rather than later.
• You get time to eat lunch in between back-to-back classes. Corn and rice with sour cream.
• Seeing your ex-boyfriend puts a huge smile on your face. And his.
  
• You pass notes in class and still learn something new.
• Your sister texts you a Naked picture. Naked juice.
• Someone points out your wearing pink, and you never wear pink.
• You have "Imma Bee" by Black Eyed Peas stuck in your head.
• You read 1 Peter 1:6-9.
• You blog instead of doing homework.
• It's 3:30pm and there is more goodness to come!

It's just a good day.

He is...

Jehovah Rapha

The God who Heals.

Exodus 15:26
And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians; for I am the LORD that healeth thee.

Holding on.

Colossians 3:12-15

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."


Ever had your heart burdened for every single person in a room? Ever had it break for them? Knowing and somehow feeling their spirit’s need, but not knowing how to tell or show them what they need… something you have. Something that will answer all their questions and problems. Something that will fulfill every void in their being. Knowing that they are being deprived and are therefore suffocating and dying because of this…? So many times I have asked and pleaded with God to give me the opportunity, the chance… to give me the words to say…. Asking why me? How can I? Who am I? Only to be met with: Wait. BE still. Have patience. Trust. Love them. Over and over and over.

And PRAY.

What do you do when you love someone, but almost everything they do and say hurts you? What do you do when they don't seem to care that they are causing you pain? What do you do when they are obviously hurting, or going the wrong way, or don't fully understand, and you want to help... but they are not grabbing the rope? They are not receiving the loving assistance? They won't allow you to save them from sinking; from drowning.

Do i walk away? Give up? Let them fall away? Let go?
"I'm holding on with a broken heart, that's still beating..."

I am reminded of what He said:
Wait. BE still. Have patience. Trust. Love them. Over and over and over. And PRAY.

Pray with me for the lost, the hurting and the broken-hearted.
And forgive as the Lord forgave you.